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After last weeks awful run, I really had to psych myself up to get back out there. I really had to build it up in my head & just make sure that I didn't let 2 bad runs turn me completely off. And I'm SO happy I got my butt back on the track.
The first day back out was better. It wasn't my best run by any means but it was better than my worst day & that was something I needed. I think it's important to get back out there. I mean, they always tell you when you fall off the horse to get back up, right? (Or am I mixing up that saying?) Anyway, I think if I let myself sit and stew on a bad run, or on how much I don't like running, then I would have never gotten back out there.
Mid week, I had the choice- I had about 40 minutes to spare between the end of work & a meeting. Do I just go out and run quick or do I just go to our meeting early & wait? I decided that in spite of the rainy weather, I would just do it.
And I'm glad I did. I'm not quite sure what it was- whether it was the fact that there was nobody on the track so I was less self conscious or if the cool rain just made me feel good, but I ran an entire mile, non-stop! That's huge for me! Especially considering just 5 weeks ago running one lap around the track wasn't happening! It was so nice feeling so proud of myself. I left that track after a creepy man emerged standing at the edge of the track watching me, feeling great. At that moment, I knew the 5K was actually possible.
My run after that, I knew that a mile non stop had to happen. And it happened! I ran 1.22 miles, I pushed myself a little more, walked a lap and then ran ANOTHER mile! I wasn't focused on how fast I was going or what I looked like, instead I was focused on finishing the mile, telling myself I could do this. My forth run of the week, I once again ran a mile- pushing myself a tiny bit more and running 1.3 miles at once. If I don't push myself, how am I supposed to get better?
But my biggest realization this week aside from now knowing I can run, was realizing who I'm doing this for. In the past, I've always set my goals & while working towards achieving them, I always keep in my mind somebody I want to impress. I don't know why I do this, but I always have. But last week as I was running my full mile, I realized, this is one of the very few things I'm doing for myself. So, why am I wasting time trying to impress anybody? The person I should impress is myself, I want to prove to myself that this is something I can achieve & honestly, I'm going to achieve it mostly on my own. This is for me & I finally recognized that. I really think that by forgetting what other people think, who I'm going to impress, really pushed me to challenge myself.
And I'll leave this here... Dare I say, I might be starting to enjoy running?
My name is Kristina and I'm the founder of Love Struck. Read about how Love Struck came to be, see how I make it happen or just read a random thought I just might have! Anything can happen at our blog & I wouldn't have it any other way! It's time to get Love Struck, and what better way to start than right here!