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I'm not a New Years Resolution person.
I instead track my years each August for my birthday. I like to set goals and sometimes choose a theme of the year and let it all unfold.
Last year, the theme was to step outside of my comfort zone & try something massive. Absolutely none of my plans worked out how I had envisioned. Not a single one. But so much more resulted in the unraveling of each choice I made. I was pushed to my ultimate limits & I came through it all. I spent my 28th year challenging myself & dealing with any consequence. I refused to run from hard choices.
But for 29, I realized that I need to focus more on myself. Sounds pretty corny and quite cliche- don't worry, I know. Just about everything I chose to do during 28 was done without taking much consideration of myself & my well being.
I came out stronger but I need 29 to be a little gentler on my soul.
I had a lot of people asking me how I was feeling turning 29. I'm not easily bothered, saddened or angered with the change in age- it doesn't phase me all too much. When I responded with that, I was often met with confused responses & people reminding me that it's the last year of my 20's. Apparently that means I should be going wild & living on the edge. Do things change dramatically in our 30's?
Instead- I'm going to use 29 as a stepping stone year for my 30th birthday goals. For my 30th, have pre-decided that I will start a podcast. I don't have much of an idea of what it'll be about or who I will do this with- I just know I feel a strong draw to it. So for 29, as I form the ideas of this podcast to be, I am challenging myself to come here & blog about anything. I want to see what interesting things come out of my head, I want to see what you all respond to & see if I can really accomplish the goal of having a podcast.
But- here I am, writing a post to tell you all about it.
A friend recently reminded me that I'm not completely what people think that I am, that I'm full of surprises. Most people see me as super bubbly & ultra nice- which I am, don't get me wrong. But I also am tattooed, I gravitate toward all things vulgar & I have no desire to follow many conventional roads. The biggest shock being my lack of desire to get married or to have kids. I keep proving that I am not what people expect me to be.
Just like the person I am; being an Ant & a 13%er, is not what I expected. I have listened to over 380 episodes of TESD and in that time I have found some sort of sanctuary; a world outside of my daily life for me to discover and be a part of. The guys- Bry, Walt & Q- talk about their lives, their journey, their wild adventures and everything in between. We're let into a piece of their world and their friendships in a way unlike any other.
Their conversations can hit close to home or open your eyes to a new world. From discussing anything from depression, relationships, current news, playing games & so much more- it's seriously never a dull moment. I mean, this is where I learned that horse is opposite of car. I often will finish a new episode already waiting for the next week to be released. There's a weird connection to the guys & this world that they have created.
More than that, the world that they have built is filled with others who feel the same as I do- that this podcast is more than just a podcast. For me, being an active part of the anthill is still new. But my Twitter is built mainly on fellow ants- none of which I have actually met. The only group notifications I allow on Facebook are from a private group filled with ants from all over the world.
After all this time- it truly still amazes me the type of community that has been built & shared by so many people from so many backgrounds from all over the world. There is such an overwhelming amount of support & love for each other. We have this common ground of TESD- and in some cases- that might be our only common ground. Yet, that doesn't change the fact that we're all a part of something bigger.
Now the anthill isn't filled with perfect people, with perfect lives who have perfect ideals. It's filled with a group of people who have a common thread & looking for a community. It's filled with humor, randomness, encouragement and everything you're looking for. It makes listening to a weekly podcast so much more than just a weekly podcast.
As I'm developing relationships in this world & getting more immersed, I love seeing how other ants have formed friendships. I truly look forward to having that more & more as time goes on because I know & I can see the positive effects it has on people.
And that's why a podcast.
I'm not saying that my hypothetical podcast will create a comparable world or that I anticipate such a strong allegiance. But I see what TESD has done for others or for myself & if I can bring a fraction of that to somebody- well then that would be pretty amazing.
I'm learning more & more about how sharing our experiences with others is beyond helpful. I've always been pretty well guarded & have struggled sharing my stories with just anybody. But I've been doing it, slowly. Opening up just might be a great start to a new decade next year- who knows?
So here's to the next year of finding what the next chapter is & what I'm capable of.
My name is Kristina and I'm the founder of Love Struck. Read about how Love Struck came to be, see how I make it happen or just read a random thought I just might have! Anything can happen at our blog & I wouldn't have it any other way! It's time to get Love Struck, and what better way to start than right here!